How to DM Without Being Creepy (2024)

I love scrolling my social media feeds and seeing the best most people have to offer of themselves on my timeline. I try to balance scrolling, with work, on most days and not get completely sucked into the black hole that can rob me of productivity. On my IG account, I often have men pulling into my dms looking for a connection. Many times I don’t even bother to respond. After all, I don’t know the vast majority of these people at all, have no reference and am too apprehensive about striking up a connection with a stranger. Also, their intros are usually lame, creepy, and sleazy. There have been occasions when I did respond and I’m happy to say, we went from strangers to IG penpals. Bantering back and forth about stories or shared life experiences. Those are always refreshing and I have to admit, I enjoy positively connecting with quality people. If you want to slide into the dms without being creepy, here are a few things you can try:

1. Pleasantries on content — Striking up a conversation around content is a smart way to genuinely connect with someone. Most of us don’t mind a little ego-stroking from time to time. You can use these as a foundation and add your sparkle to make it more uniquely yours.

• Genuine flattery will get you everywhere — Hi, I’ve been following you for a while. I enjoy watching your stories. I just wanted to introduce myself and share that you have a fan.
• Wanderlust Connection — I’m living vicariously through you with all your drool-worthy wanderlust photos. What’s on your travel bucket list this year?
• Mindfulness/Wellness — Your quotes and captions resonate with me, can you recommend a book that has significantly inspired your life?

2. Avoid sexual comments — This is crass and basic. Nothing screams creepy more than initiating an introduction that is overtly sexual.

3. You can never go wrong with humor — I love a good joke and more importantly, I love to laugh. I’m more inclined to engage with someone that doesn’t take themselves so seriously and has a great sense of humor.

4. Desperation is not a good look — There is something about someone having a lack of confidence that is anti-seductive and even repelling. It sends the message that you may not even be worthy of the person that you are…