How to Turn a Guy on Through Text Message: 12 Steps (2024)

Explore this Article

Co-authored byJohn Keegan

Last Updated: March 21, 2024Fact Checked

Download Article

1. 1

   Start by texting something casual, especially if it's a new relationship. It's important that you don't come on too strong with a new romantic interest. Text something light and innocent to start the conversation.

   • For instance, you could say something like, “Hey, hope you're well. Just thinking about you” or “Hey, I can't stop thinking about that cute, boyish smile of yours.”
2. 2

   Text him a compliment to get his attention.^[1] Compliments are a great way to increase intimacy and can act as a lead-in for more steamy conversations. Just make sure the compliment is sincere and something you think he'll appreciate hearing.

   • “Hey handsome!” is always a good start, especially if it's a relatively new relationship.
   • Or you could try something funny and a little more bold like, “I can't stop laughing about our conversation the other night, I love how dirty-minded you are.”

   Advertisem*nt

3. 3

   Flirt to gradually build up to more evocative topics. The key to turning him on is to start slow and work your way up (just as you would in person). Try to make him laugh, show him how funny/clever you are, and/or show him you care about him.

   • For instance, you might text, “I think that story you told me last night broke my abs from laughing too hard” or “How did your interview go today? Did they appreciate your sharp wit like I do?”
   • Texting him something hot and heavy from the get-go can be awkward (and creepy if you don't know each other that well yet).
4. 4

   Tell him what you're doing as a lead-in. Use what you're doing to shift the conversation to something more suggestive. You don't necessarily have to stick to the facts here—he won't know either way!

   • For example, you might say, “I'm trying to work but can't stop thinking about this really sexy, smart man that I went out with last night…”
5. 5

   Keep the conversation short to leave him wanting more. Think of texting dirty messages as a form of mental foreplay—you want to turn him on without letting it go on for so long that he gets bored. Furthermore, long-winded flirty texts could create awkwardness and kill the mood.^[2]

   • Cut the conversation short with a simple closing line like: “Can't wait to see you later,” or a simple flirty emoji (like 😘, 💋, or 😉).
6. 6

   Don't text him something naughty when you know it's an inappropriate time. Trying to turn him on when he's in an important meeting or at a somber event is ill-advised. If you know he's at a funeral, family event, or in an important meeting, don't try to divert his attention away from where it should be in that moment.^[3]

   • Ask him what he's doing if you're not sure if it's a good time.
7. 7

   Avoid sending a lot of texts back-to-back. If you're trying to turn him on, don't annoy him! If he's a new interest, he might think you're needy. And if he's a stable partner, he might get irritated instead of turned on. Don't send more than two texts back to back without a response.^[4]

   • If he doesn't respond, don't freak out and flood him with messages. He's probably busy!
   • If you overdo it and he responds in a way that suggests he's annoyed or intimidated, take it as a lesson and be more conservative with how you text.

   See Also

   How to DM a Girl: 30 Secrets to Slide Into Her Insta & Get a ReplyThe art of sliding into DMs - The Queen's Journal10 Ways to Slide Into Someone's DMs - wikiHow10 Ways to Flirt Online Without Being Creepy - wikiHow
8. 8

   Avoid sending unsolicited nude pictures. Sending nudes out of the blue can create some problems for both of you. For instance, he might receive the text or open it when someone is in viewing range (like his mother, boss, or child!). Don't send one unless the two of you have talked about it and laid out some ground rules (like only sending them when both of you aren't at work).^[5]

   • Don't let anyone pressure you into sending nudes! There's always a chance that someone unexpected might see them, so be smart about your privacy (e.g., don't show your face in the actual photo).^[6]
   • An example of a good ground rule is to delete photos shortly after sending and receiving them.

Advertisem*nt

Download Article

1. 1

   Ask teasing and intriguing questions to get you on his mind.^[7] Asking a suggestive question will excite him and get his imagination going. It also invites him to reply with something equally suggestive. You might ask any of the following:^[8]

   • “What's your secret fetish?”
   • “Why do you make me so frisky?!”
   • “Remember that time we (insert something naughty the two of you have done)? Game for round 2?”
   • “I'm crazy flexible. All that yoga's really paying off...wanna see later?”
   • “Want to play dare or dare?”
2. 2

   Show your sense of humor to spark his imagination. Send a playful text that hints at something a little more naughty using relatively innocent language. This will remind him of how much fun you are to be around (and do things with!). Try these playful lines:^[9]

   • “You'd look so vogue wearing my panties. Fashion show later? Please!?”
   • “I can't stop laughing at this sex scene I just watched—ha! We could do better.”
   • “I can't stop thinking about naughty things. Can you help me with this?”
   • “Hey, I'm trying to focus here, if you could stop thinking about doing dirty things with me that'd be great. 😉”
3. 3

   Be bold with a romantic or straightforward text. Whether you're a soft romantic or bold vixen type, sending a candid text about how you feel about him will deepen your relationship. Super straightforward lines are especially effective if you know he likes it when you take the reins. You might try:^[10]

   • “Your kisses really do something to me, like a lightning bolt.”
   • “I can't sleep. All I keep thinking about is having you here next to me.”
   • “Making love to you feels like I'm on another planet.”
   • “I loved it when you ____ the other night, I've never felt that good before.”
   • “Confession: I want you. Like, now.”
4. 4

   Send sensory details to make him fantasize about you. Discuss what you plan to do to him, talk about what you're wearing, or make up a sexual scenario involving the two of you. Try to add as much detail as you can and be as bold or subtle as you feel comfortable doing. For example, you might text:^[11]

   • “First, I'm going to slowly run my fingers across your lips…”
   • “I'm wearing those panties you like…”
   • “You. Me. Naked. Kitchen counter. Dinner. Repeat.”

Advertisem*nt

Expert Q&A

Ask a Question

Video

Tips

Tips from our Readers

The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

• If a flirty text conversation starts making you uncomfortable, politely change the subject or say you have to leave. You could make an excuse that your phone was taken away. Don't feel pressured to reciprocate explicit messages.
• If trying to subtly get his attention, say you had an interesting dream last night when he texts in the morning. When he asks about it, invent a captivating story whether you actually dreamt something or not!
• Don't overtext if he hasn't replied yet or leaves you on "read." Flooding his phone comes across as needy. Let him initiate sometimes too. If he consistently ignores you, he's likely not that interested.
• When turning him on over text, stay true to your own personality and comfort level. Don't say anything you wouldn't genuinely feel okay expressing in person just to impress him.
• Use proper spelling and grammar in texts — lots of abbreviations or slang could seem too casual. Write carefully so messages come across as intimate instead of nonchalant.

Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

Warnings

How helpful is this?